Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Seams

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I have found as I have aged and gotten older that the words appealing to me about life have shifted.  As a teenager growing up I was focused on words inspiring my passing and heart, things like strength and power and courage.  To not give up the fight.  To overcome my obstacles.  To be built on struggle.

It’s commonly held that people slow down with age, especially those who are involved in youth culture.  The music that appeals to youth, especially adolescent boys, is filled with aggression, screaming lyrics appealing and giving voice to that deep angst and anger fostered in white suburbia.  It takes energy and commitment and a huge passion for throwing body and mind onstage each night in front of whoever happens to be watching.

Not only youth focused culture but Americans in general focus frantically on youth and being able to hold on the vestige of rebelliousness and stupidity and energy entwined in the early days of life.  We lose sight of the beauty and earnest joy in acceptance and in the gentle softness that comes as we all get older and begin to lose our tension.

Certain phrases hold appeal in truth and in the ability to age intentionally.  To admire the seams in a weathered face of a wise man.  For your face to crease in a smile.   To be pillowed in the kindness and warmth of one you love.  These are words to calm and soothe.  Language so different from the terms of death and decline used with impunity in discussion on the subject.

Aging intentionally is to embrace these changes and move slowly toward a softer strength, to move from tawny skin and smoothly bunching muscles to fragile hands and slow walks.  Though we focus on the aches and pains, we lose sight of a solid sense of self and easy confidence that comes with age, if we’re lucky.

So, in the end, to trade vigor for calm, strength for acceptance, that inevitable choice, is all a matter of the words we choose.