asylum disbelief

i've been calling out for years.
when you would rush in,
no one looked in the closet.

called me crazy,
my delusions,
a pain in the ass.
but no one looked in the closet.

they believed me.
believed me,
the first time
the second time,
the third time,
the thirtieth time.
now they ignore my screams of pain.
no one looked in the closet.

except once.
the last time.

when they looked and saw a pair of eyes peering
out from behind my winter sweaters.

now you are the crazy ones.
the loonies
the freaks.
your guilt and guile for never seeing...

no one looked in the closet.

RF2010

i was in a crowd of people when it hit me:
i don't miss you anymore.

last year was a bad year.
fights and crowds and tears and heartache
worries about missed opportunities
falling over each other to prove
we were now better off.

and it hit me.
you will never be good enough for me.
i am living out my dreams.
my name will be known.
and you will never be more
than a footnote
saying:
in spite of me, she...

walking home alone at night

My footsteps are one

In the chorus of many that make up the city.

Through the keys jangling, babies crying and laughing

Lovers meeting and leaving each other

Dogs barking and walking and sitting and staying

People talking,

Sirens and saws,

Laughter I hear distant across the field.

My footsteps are one

In the chorus of many that make up the city.

Through the lights flashing red and blue,

Streetlights changing and flashing and filling and popping,

Cars swerving and driving and changing and breaking,

People are talking and laughing and singing

And music is playing.

My footsteps are one

In the chorus of many that make up the city.

The leaves are shifting and blowing and falling,

Doors are opening, swinging and closing,

And everywhere buildings are falling and going

Up in the air.

And my footsteps are but one

In the chorus of many that make up the city.

landscape

your river cut valleys
into my soul -

the mountains and rises and dips and pauses
a testament
to your work in me.

i leave myself in you -
the imprint of your passing
is the creator of my landscape.

untitled 1

your beauty
takes my breath away.
i am overcome.

search

my heart is full of a vague and
overwhelming longing -
my whole life has been a
search -
what if i never find it?
what happens if i do?

estatic

estatic laughter
burbles up from my soul -
this is joy!
unrestrained -
break free of the bondage of separation -
i am the truth,
he said.
we are all truth
beauty
light
life!
hate others and you hate yourself.
i cannot contain this boundless love!