Thursday, July 12, 2012

fucking racist maggots ate the world


169
to depression, to despair
the end of hope
unacceptable, this is unacceptable
to scream and cry
body wrung out exhausted
from failure, your failure
169.
my commodities are rotten shelving
beat up and bloodied, alone in a sick twisted perversion of riot girrrl feminism
believing and dying and two sided coins,
squeezing the flesh on my arms into red peaks
169.
were we committed, clearly these problems
would find purchase in some other town or tier,
worming into my ears and my brains, or from my brains?
Can you make yourself crazy?
169.
it’s here to decide the fate of your mental threat(health)
drugs and pills and therapy and knives
liposuction’s on sale this year,
where feet grow out of faces’ holes plugged with fat from your abdomen,
169.
relentless and wild there is no hope of escape
from issues haunting each step I take,
it’s not anything you kill or create
but a redheaded stepchild society hates,
169.
prose and poetry and fucking shit sprayed into bathroom stalls
do nothing to address the goddamn weight
pressing down on my head,
heavy enough to crush my lungs with the small vacation of one deep breath,
169.
to lie to yourself is supposed to be the lowest form of expression,
reality, my friends, is the key to changing our thinking –
yes, we must accept things as they are,
lest we discover reality is only your own brain fucking with you.
169.

Friday, June 29, 2012

mistakes


You are
The wound
In my side
Leaking tequila and blood and shame,
The flush on your mother’s face
When she saw me
In the morning.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

city/nature

the city moves in its own rhythm -
like the earth
(parody)

(god is laughing)

walls

we spend all our time
building up walls
(defenses)
(from who?)
and wonder why we are lonely.

camera closeups on faces
turned away from the crowd

shrine

locked within these four walls
i cry out -
still alone,
not alone. lonely.
i need a partner in crime...

help me build a shrine to my demons.
therapy,
dissect my problems
bloodless, opened on the table
by a scalpel i can no longer use.

why is my soul so unsatisfied
in the warmth of the summer sun?

i love you because i love you

i love you
because i love you.
not for logic
or facts
or longing for heaven -
your existence,
merely
inspires my heart to light.

i love you
because i love you.
no list is long enough to hold the reasons;
no hatred.
no remorse.
you move me,
the mountain has come to
-m

i love you
because i love you.
and today,
that may be enough.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

asylum disbelief

i've been calling out for years.
when you would rush in,
no one looked in the closet.

called me crazy,
my delusions,
a pain in the ass.
but no one looked in the closet.

they believed me.
believed me,
the first time
the second time,
the third time,
the thirtieth time.
now they ignore my screams of pain.
no one looked in the closet.

except once.
the last time.

when they looked and saw a pair of eyes peering
out from behind my winter sweaters.

now you are the crazy ones.
the loonies
the freaks.
your guilt and guile for never seeing...

no one looked in the closet.